HOW TO LOVE BY FAITH

1 John 4:7-11

INTRODUCTION

a. Love is in the air was certainly true here last night - If you missed the Valentine dinner you missed a great evening of fun, laughter and fellowship. Love is the theme for today

1. Judith Versed, in Love & Guilt & the Meaning of Love, came up with a humorous distinction between love and infatuation:

Infatuation is when you think that he's as gorgeous as Robert Redford, as pure as Solzhenitsyn, as funny as Woody Allen, as athletic as Jimmy Conners and as smart as Albert Einstein.

Love is when you realize that he's as gorgeous as Woody Allen, as smart as Jimmy Conners, as funny as Solzhenitsyn, as athletic as Albert Einstein and nothing like Robert Redford in any category. But you'll take him anyway.

b. Today's theme is not so much about romantic love as it is about "Loving people you don't like very much".

c. Each of us have been in situations where we have been wronged by another or where it seems that another is out to ruin us at every opportunity

d. Others may come from abusive situations

e. Others may suffer from anger and resentment toward their family of origin - Family may not have been demonstratively loving

f. Many times we repeat in our lives what we observed growing up

g. Today I want to help you go beyond your feelings of anger, distrust, and revenge to the Love God has for you to demonstrate

I. BACKGROUND THOUGHTS

a. "Faith" and "Love" are verbs not nouns

1. These are actions not feelings

2. If you wait to feel faith or love you will never experience them

3. These are concepts that you exercise and the more you exercise them the stronger they become

4. The emphasis is not on feeling an emotion of love but on acting in love. C. S. Lewis has a helpful comment on what Christian love involves:

It would be quite wrong to think that the way to become "loving" is to sit trying to manufacture affectionate feelings. Some people are "cold" by temperament; that may be a misfortune for them, but it is no more a sin than having a bad digestion is sin; and it does not cut them off from the chance, or excuse them from the duty, of learning "love." The rule for us all is perfectly simple. Do not waste time bothering whether you "love" your neighbor; act as if you did. As soon as we do this, we learn one of the great secrets. When you are behaving as if you loved someone, you will presently come to love them.

b. There are some situations from which you flee

1. Relationships with a pattern of physical abuse

a. God does not expect you to stay and be beaten

c. Christians are to initiate forgiveness

1. We seek it and offer it first

d. Love is not blind

1. Has eyes wide open and has knowledge

a. Maybe you heard about the guy who fell in love with an opera singer. He hardly knew her, since his only view of the singer was through binoculars -- from the third balcony. But he was convinced he could live "happily ever after" married to a voice like that. He scarcely noticed she was considerably older than he. Nor did he care that she walked with a limp. Her mezzo-soprano voice would take them through whatever might come. After a whirlwind romance and a hurry-up ceremony, they were off for their honeymoon together.

She began to prepare for their first night together. As he watched, his chin dropped to his chest. She plucked out her glass eye and plopped it into a container on the nightstand. She pulled off her wig, ripped off her false eyelashes, yanked out her dentures, unstrapped her artificial leg, and smiled at him as she slipped off her glasses that hid her hearing aid. Stunned and horrified, he gasped, "For goodness sake, woman, sing, sing, SING!

e. Love is tough

1. Will always act in best interest of object

2. Is not gushy or wishy-washy but honest and true

II. THE SABOTEURS OF LOVE

a. Anger

1. Unresolved anger will literally eat you alive

a. Whether from family or work or friends - Bible says "not to let the sun go down on your anger" - Take care of it - it will destroy you

2. Anger is like wrestling with a pig, you both get all dirty -- and the pig likes it.

b. Selfishness

1. Always taking and never giving or only giving so you can get something will leave you lonely and isolated - We are to be giving generous people

c. Pride

1. Pride builds walls around you that keeps others out and keeps you from doing what God commands

d. Prejudice

1. Hatred of any kind toward people is wrong

a. "I hate those kind of people" cannot be heard among Christians - A deplorable incident occurred in the life of Mahatma Ghandi. He said in his autobiography that during his student days he was interested in the Bible. Deeply touched by reading the gospels, he seriously considered becoming a convert. Christianity seemed to offer the real solution to the caste system that was dividing the people of India. One Sunday he went to a church to see the minister and ask for instruction on the way of salvation and other Christian doctrines. But when he entered the sanctuary, the ushers refused him a seat and suggested that he go and worship with his own people. He left and never went back. "If Christians have chaste differences also," he said to himself, "I might as well remain a Hindu."

III. LOVE BY FAITH

a. We are commanded to love

b. Understand that you cannot do this by yourself

c. Be honest with God about how you feel - Your emotions are strong but not as strong as God's promises

d. Begin to pray for the person

1. When we pray for God's best for a person we cannot long harbor resentment for them at the same time

2. This is a continual prayer not a one time "I did my duty" prayer

e. Begin to behave lovingly toward the person

1. Maybe a note of forgiveness

2. Maybe a civil contact

3. Maybe a confession and restitution

f. Love and faith are actions that produce feelings not vice versa

g. Love Is

Slow to suspect -- quick to trust.

Slow to condemn -- quick to justify.

Slow to offend -- quick to defend.

Slow to reprimand -- quick to forbear.

Slow to belittle -- quick to appreciate.

Slow to demand -- quick to give.

Slow to provoke -- quick to conciliate.

Slow to hinder -- quick to help.

Slow to resent -- quick to forgive.

h. Want to love - go do it

BOW WITH ME IN PRAYER

HYMN # 181 "I'LL LIVE FOR HIM"